My life involves a lot of planning. I work as a project manager at a branding firm; you can imagine the amount of planning that might involve. I help run a DIY gallery/music space and handle the (very lean) funds; also lots of planning. These are both things I've made choices to be a part, and they were conscious choices. I'll let you in on a secret: I like plans.
Plans are my favorite. Calendars, to-do lists, itineraries, these things make me happy. They get me through the day and help me feel sane. If I've got things to cross of my list, I feel good. I have an odd mixture of satisfaction and restlessness when I cross everything off of a list because it means I might be bored soon. I hate boredom.
So, you can imagine my displeasure when my plans for what my life would look like over the next year, two years, five years, went entirely up in flames. I'm referring, of course, to TJ's move to Chicago.
To give a bit of history, TJ finished his master's program this December. So, he started looking for a job. Meanwhile, I had been pretty unhappy at my job for some time and it made sense for me to start looking too. We were both looking all over the place, including our hometown, Cincinnati. TJ had some interviews here, and then I got an interview at the firm I currently work for (where I actually used to intern). The same week I was supposed to interview, TJ got the interview with Discover in Chicago. They scheduled it for a Friday, so we decided to make a weekend of it.
My interview went well, his went well, we had a great time in the city. We talked it over and agreed his was the better opportunity. Even better, they told him they'd get back to him the following week! We were beyond excited. See, my plan had very little to do with where I'd be. My plan was simply that TJ and I would be together, that we would start building a life together and making grown up decisions. I had no qualms about all that happening in Chicago. So we hoped he would get the offer before I got a second interview or an offer.
Unfortunately, that isn't what happened.
Without reviewing further details, essentially Discover took way longer than promised to get back to him and in the meantime we both decided it made sense for me to take my current job. Within days of that decision, Discover made their offer. And here we are.
So, back to planning. That whole scenario sucked pretty hard for me. But I've found that I'm doing pretty well with this separation in large part to - you guessed it! - PLANNING! TJ and I spent a lot of time before his move talking about when we could realistically see each other and how we could make the most of this time.
The plan is to see each other every other weekend: I'll go up once a month, he'll come down once a month. And we're also working on this idea of finding really fun things to do each weekend, to build strong memories even during this strange time of separation. That plan is sustaining me. As much as it's unpleasant to know you can't see your loved one whenever you want to, knowing you have the net time you'll see them right there on your calendar makes it quite a bit more bearable.
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